Please Welcome Nameless CPAP to Our Team

This is our newest addition to the James Stewart, DDS team. Sadly, he does not have a name, and we hope you can help by commenting on our blog or Facebook page with ideas. Here’s the scoop on him:

Nameless is a member of the Continuous Positive Airway Pressure family, commonly called the CPAP family. For many, many years, his family has earned a respected reputation for improving sleep and reducing snoring in many a human. We invited Nameless CPAP to join our team because he desperately needed a job. His entire family is getting laid off, which you might attribute to the economy. But nay, the CPAP family is out of work because they did not keep up with modern technology. They would not take the continuing education required; they would not grow, develop, and transform to meet the needs of their clients. Of late, the Somnomed and Silent Nite families have replaced the CPAPs and are moving sleep apnea therapy into a new age of comfortable, effective treatment.

So, to be honest, we felt sorry for Nameless. He’s ancient and has outlived his usefulness. We allow him to greet our patients in the front office, and his son the modern CPAP, does occasionally work for us on a contract basis. Nameless CPAP works directly under the watchful eye of our office administrator. If he says anything off color or rude, please alert his manager immediately. He is a dying breed, and we respect him as our elder, but if he causes any trouble, he’s going straight to the resale shop.

Our team and patients are coming together in a mercy-effort to give Nameless CPAP a good moniker. Help us out – and get creative! So far, the name list includes Iron Cross, Torture Chamber, Pilot Mask, Stenographer Mask, and OMG Are You Serious? To clarify, that last one was indeed a name idea, not a question. And yes, we are serious.